18 January 2007

Document

Yesterday I spent a grueling day with the women of my family and bringing the hyperactive 4-year-old along was just distracting enough that we didn't have to interact too terribly much. My mother and grandmother met me at 10am, we drove to Columbia to meet my sister for lunch, my grandmother bought me some birthday presents, I bought the boy some Schleich & Papo figurines at a 50% discount -- Foot Action outbid the hobby store, which sells, um, hobby stuff, for rent renewal and so ends a piece of my history, the hobby store where one could always buy, um, hobby stuff and was an excellent source of collectable European toys for Fergus but hey! There really aren't enough places to buy Jordans and Tims in Columbia mall, right?! It's obviously the smarter move -- and we drove back exhausted but gearing up for round two. On the way home I conjured verbal silence by putting Neko Case (shut up, Kitoria) on the iPod which prompted my grandmother to ask, briefly, about "this angelic voice" and to request a copy of her "record"!

When we got home, I bribed Fergus with a new toy while Granny and I set to cooking dinner and I set to interrogating her about our family's history, she being the only person that can give me any insight into any part of my genetic background. Brian pointed out that I am only one quarter anything, because I have no contact with three quarters of my family and no way of finding out anything about them. Let's see if I can splain a little....

~My grandmother was married, in June of 1951, to a man who would ultimately prove to be a paranoid schizophrenic and would never meet his first daughter -- my mother. His mother, upon learning that my grandmother was pregnant, implored my grandmother to "pray that this child is born dead," presumably because both of her own children were profoundly mentally ill. With less cynicism and more reason than one might imagine, this strikes me as a pretty valid wish, although had it come true I wouldn't be here today to regale you all with these bitter tales and memories. Consequently, I know nothing about my mother's paternal genetics. (1/4)
~Lo, the child was born [barely] breathing and grew up to marry a man that would disappear without a trace, never to reveal more than a ghost's trail of history about his family and upbringing. I know next to nothing about my father's family. (1/2)

My grandmother told me that in the early-to-middle '40s, her aunts worked for the US Department of Entomology, located at University of Maryland College Park, where they injected beetle grubs with "milky white disease"; these grubs would be placed in wooden crates, in a small amount of dirt, where they would remain for X-amount of days before dying at which time the dirt would be sifted out and the grubs dried out to be ground up and made into DDT. I cannot find any information anywhere about "milky white disease*," and when researching DDT it would seem that it was conceived as a synthetic compound and mass produced until its ultimate illegalization. Basically, I don't know what the woman is talking about and neither does she -- I suspect that when they worked in these labs, as less-than-high-school-educates, that they were given the layest of explanations with regard to what they were doing -- milky white disease*, indeed.

FUCK!!!! Check this out -- so surprising that the FDA lies! They lie lie lie; this is proof that DDT is still on the market and being sold under a different name and being called "safe." FUCK!

WHAT IS MILKY SPORE?
Milky Spore is a naturally occuring bacterium that affects Japanese Beetles at the grub stage of life. Milky Spore was first developed by the USDA in the 1930s to combat the Japanese Beetle but Milky Spore controls the June bug and Oriental beetles as well.

HOW DOES MILKY SPORE WORK?

When grubs are feeding, they injest the bacteria. The bacteria begins to multiply inside the gut of the grub killing it in about 14 days. Once the grubs begins to decompose, billions of new bacteria are released into the soil.

HOW FAST DOES THE SPORE WORK?

Milky Spore begins working upon application wherever grubs are feeding. Warm climates can achieve complete control in 2-3 years. Colder climates may require 3-5 years.

HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?

Once established in your lawn Milky Spore can last 15 to 20 years.

WILL FERTILIZERS AFFECT THE SPORE? HOW ABOUT CHEMICAL PESTICIDES?

Fertilizers and herbicides will not affect the Spore. Chemical grub controls do not harm the bacteria, however, the use of chemical controls willl slow the rate of spread of the bacteria. The use of chemical grub controls along with Milky Spore can be effective, but only spot spray with chemical control.

CAN MILKY SPORE BE USED IN THE GARDEN?

Yes. Milky Spore is harmless to food crops.

HOW MUCH MILKY SPORE DO I NEED?

Milky Spore is applied 10 pounds per acre. However, more can be applied for faster results.

HOW DO I APPLY MILKY SPORE?

Milky Spore is applied using a level teaspoon amount every three feet in rows three feet apart forming a grid-like pattern when. St. Gabriel Laboratories manufacturers a dispenser for easy application.

SHOULD CHILDREN AND PETS BE KEPT OFF THE TREATED LAWN?

No. Milky Spore is not a poison. It will not affect man, animals or contaminate well water.

CAN I CUT MY GRASS AFTER APPLICATION?

No. After application water the Milky Spore into the soil for about thirty minutes. After the spots have been watered in, the lawn may be mowed.

WILL FREEZING RUIN THE SPORE? WHAT ABOUT HEAVY RAIN?

No. Once applied, Milky Spore is not affected by environmental conditions.

I anticipate knocking on my door within 7-10 days...seriously, does anyone else see this as fucked up??????